Sibling Support
"With the exception of the mother or primary carer, siblings are likely to have more contact with their brother or sister with a disability than any other person."
(Brown, 2003)
Children Benefit from Having a Sibling with a Disability
Brothers and sisters possess a special connection. By encouraging sibling involvement as early as possible those with and without disabilities develop a deeper understanding of each other and their world. In fact studies show when siblings of children with disabilities are included and involved they experience higher levels of confidence and self-assurance, improved social relationships with peers, and a positive outlook on their siblings' abilities (Orsmond & Seltzer, 2007; Strain, 1987).
Communication
So how can parents work with siblings to improve behaviors in their children with disabilities? The first step is communication.
Children who have siblings with disabilities need to know that their opinions and feelings are valid. Parents need to encourage them to discuss their feelings. One way to do this is through the use of children's books. There are many books which explain disabilities to children that can be used as conversation starters.
Children who have siblings with disabilities need to know that their opinions and feelings are valid. Parents need to encourage them to discuss their feelings. One way to do this is through the use of children's books. There are many books which explain disabilities to children that can be used as conversation starters.
Some examples include:
A Very Special Critter by Gina and Mercer Mayer
Sesame Street Just Like You by Sarah Albee
We'll Paint the Octopus Red by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen
My Friend Has Down Syndrome (Let's Talk About It) by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos
Me, My Brother and Autism by A.C. Phalon
In My Mind: The World through the Eyes of Autism by Adonya Wong
In Jesse's Shoes by Beverly Lewis
The Don't-Give-Up Kid: and Learning Disabilities by Jeanne Gehret
Let's get started!
Now that the conversation is started parents can enlist the siblings help by letting them know they are "special teachers" for the child with special needs (Jones & Schwartz, 2004). Parents need to decide what behavior they'd like to modify or teach the child with a disability. Now through conversations and role play with the siblings the parent can instruct the siblings how to response and interact with the child.
There are four key skill areas described below in which siblings can help: Foundation Skills, Interaction Skills, Affective Skills, and Cognitive Skills (National Center for Technology Innovation and Center for Implementing Technology in Education, 2007; Canney & Byrne, 2006; Waltz, 1999).
Foundation skills refer to the basics of social interaction, such as maintaining eye contact and personal space. This area also includes understanding and using appropriate gestures and facial expressions. Siblings can be role models for these areas. Through their own behaviors and expressions they can demonstrate appropriate social behavior to their brother or sister with a disability.
Interaction skills include the skills necessary to interact with others. These skills range from sharing and resolving conflicts to appropriate conversation skills with peers and authority figures. Siblings can teach these skills through both natural play and through role play scenarios developed with a parent or caregiver. Role play can be used to help children with disabilities generalize the behaviors from one situation to another.
There are four key skill areas described below in which siblings can help: Foundation Skills, Interaction Skills, Affective Skills, and Cognitive Skills (National Center for Technology Innovation and Center for Implementing Technology in Education, 2007; Canney & Byrne, 2006; Waltz, 1999).
Foundation skills refer to the basics of social interaction, such as maintaining eye contact and personal space. This area also includes understanding and using appropriate gestures and facial expressions. Siblings can be role models for these areas. Through their own behaviors and expressions they can demonstrate appropriate social behavior to their brother or sister with a disability.
Interaction skills include the skills necessary to interact with others. These skills range from sharing and resolving conflicts to appropriate conversation skills with peers and authority figures. Siblings can teach these skills through both natural play and through role play scenarios developed with a parent or caregiver. Role play can be used to help children with disabilities generalize the behaviors from one situation to another.
Affective Skills are the feelings skills. These are the skills used to understand and recognize one's own feelings and the feelings of others. These skills also include developing empathy and determining if someone is trustworthy. Again role play can be used as a valuable teaching tool here. Books and shows can provide examples as well. The important thing to remember is that parents will need to help explain the feelings and relate them to the child with special needs. Parents and siblings can role play situations for the child with special needs. Then parents can allow the siblings to explain how they feel to their brother or sister with a disability. Children can often use simple ways of explaining which are easier for the child with a disability to understand.
Cognitive skills are those used in more complex social interactions. These include understanding societal norms, determining which behaviors are appropriate, and choosing the right path. Siblings aren't just role models for these skills, but are valuable confidants for discussing situations as the child with special needs gets older. As children get older they often communicate less with their parents and more with their peers. Siblings are special peers which when included in understanding and working with their sibling with a disability can prove to be valuable allies to that
child.
Cognitive skills are those used in more complex social interactions. These include understanding societal norms, determining which behaviors are appropriate, and choosing the right path. Siblings aren't just role models for these skills, but are valuable confidants for discussing situations as the child with special needs gets older. As children get older they often communicate less with their parents and more with their peers. Siblings are special peers which when included in understanding and working with their sibling with a disability can prove to be valuable allies to that
child.
Family Time
Parents often feel divided between the child with special needs and their other children. They worry they don't spend enough time with their children without disabilities because the needs of the other child can be so demanding. However, when siblings are included in caring for the child with special needs the entire family benefits. As described above the child with special needs gains so much from interacting with siblings. The siblings gain a deeper understanding of the child's needs and a confidence in themselves. The parents experience rewarding family time and the satisfaction of knowing they are fostering relationships including developing life-long bonds between the child with special needs and their other children. Enlisting siblings help in teaching and modifying behaviors in children with special needs is family time well spent.